Kicking Down Doors

Yesterday, I was still feeling a bit glum from the weekend's happenings. One of the easiest ways to feel better, at least for me, is to put on an outfit that makes me feel like a slight bad-ass. I got these boots for super cheap last Friday and wearing them totally makes me want to kick down doors, and possibly certain people, but mostly just doors. And though nothing was kicked I have to say I was feeling better by the end of the day. As much as sassy outfits help, good conversations, giggling, and putting things into perspective are pretty swell, too. Do you guys have any garments that just make you feel instantly ultra-awesome? I'd love to hear about 'em!

Skirt: UO, Blouse, hat: JCPenney, Boots: Lucky Brand via Lord and Taylor




(my hat totally looks like a Pringle in that photo)











Until tomorrow,
Nicole

Worth Wondering

This outfit makes me feel a little bit like a court jester. That's really not a good thing, because court jesters remind me of ventriloquist dummies, and I have a pretty strong fear of those. I like the outfit, though. Quite an enigma. Anyway, I actually took these pictures on Sunday, and it always makes me feel like a bit of a cheater when I don't post photos of what I wore on the day I'm posting. The fact that it's getting dark at 4 now, and I'm in school/work until 4 or five generally, though, doesn't bode well for outfit photos. Oh well.

Blouse: J Crew via Goodwill, Shorts, bag: Urban Outfitters, Trench: H&M, Hat: Modcloth, Shoes: A Wild Tonic Vintage









Until tomorrow,
Nicole

Simple Girl

So, a few weeks ago Vedette Shapewear contacted me, asking if I wanted to be a part of their "Got Nothing to Hide Campaign." I think it's a great idea to try and get more women feeling confident about their bodies, so I jumped at the chance! I got to pick out one of their bodysuits and style it up as a wearable garment. This is what I came up with! Honestly, this bodysuit is a total dreamboat. It's comfortable, it actually works (I tried it on under some of my tighter dresses and OH MAN), and I think it looks cute as a top. Sure, there's a little bit more chest showing than I would normally be cool with, but it's nice to try something a little different every now and then.

Also, will you guys hate me if I never stop wearing this hat? I picked it up last Friday, and it kind of goes with every outfit ever. And makes me feel like Carmen Sandiego.

Bodysuit: AIMEE Bodysuit c/o Vedette Shapewear, Skirt: H&M, Hat: JCPenney, Shoes: A Wild Tonic Vintage, Jacket: Salvation Army









Until tomorrow,
Nicole

Thoroughly Modern Mustard

So I wore this very mustardy get up on Thanksgiving. I'm not sure why I was compelled to be super matchy-matchy. I guess I usually have eighty million patterns/textures going on and kind of panic when I wear solids. Even so, I think the outfit came together all right. And it was darn comfy for eating lots of food. Oh, the food. Apart from making me take a look at all the good things I have in my life, the food is my second favorite part of Thanksgiving. Because I love food. I baked pumpkin snickerdoodles, pumpkin pie, and pecan pie for the occasion, and there aren't any pictures for obvious reasons. I even whipped up some chocolate mustaches which my family, being a whole bunch of hams, had a grand old time with. Also, my mother, sister, and I inadvertantly matched perfectly. Here, look:

Until tomorrow,
Nicole

Thankful

These past few months have been tumultuous. This past week has been tumultuous. In short, we were going to adopt a cat, then we were not, then we were, then we DID, and now we aren't. I was woken up this morning by my mother saying, "I'm bringing the adoption papers back" so I haven't been in the best mood since. It's really tough for anyone to have her hopes raised high and dropped down. I was planning to get up this morning and write a list of what I'm thankful for. Honestly, I'm not in the mood right now, which is exactly why I'm going to write one. The reason why I love reading other people's thankful/happy lists is because they focus on the positivity in their lives instead of whatever's going wrong. So, here we go

I am thankful for:

-My family. I always start here because I feel like it makes the most sense.
-Cheryl, for the support she's given me the past few months. For letting me stay over at her apartment so many weekends. For listening to my cry over the past and gush uncontrolabley about boys. For being a disney princess. For telling me I was doing the right thing when everyone else seemed uncertain.
-Anna, for everything. For years I felt like I only half knew you, and honestly thought you didn't much want me as a sister. Or at least were neutral about it. But this summer, we finally started talking. You shared with me (I kind of forced you, but still) and opened up, and now I feel like I can talk to you about everything. I miss you so much and now that mom's denied me the cat, she's going to have to let me fly across the country to see you in January. You really don't know how happy I am that we have a real relationship now. Also, you're the strongest person I know. What you're going through is not easy, and I love you for your courage.
-Daphny, for having the personality I kind of wish I could have but never will, and for making my sister so happy, and for thinking I'm pretty cool.
-Mom. She's not always right, but she's understanding. She's a good mom.
-Bill Shullenberger, for being a sage, a listener, and a friend. And for sending me an e-card on my birthday that contained penguins singing in a soda shop.
-Penguins singing in soda shops.
- Charlotte, for being such a beautiful person. For being so self-less, and for always reassuring me of how good a friend she considers me. That kind of honesty is rare, and I appreciate it more than you know. Also, for loving men in good suits as much as I do.
-Lori Ziesel, for being my friend-mom and for probably giving me the best advice about my breakup/crushes of anyone. And for Josh and Matt. I miss you guys too much.

-Steph, Amanda, Gerlin, Sasha, my high school friends, for still liking me and for being some of the best people I know. I wish I could see you more often.

-Lissette, for being an inspiring lady.

-Bear Mountain, for being beautiful and majestic. Can I go there now?
-My job at the Writers' Center. Honestly, I had a dim hope of having an unpaid internship or working at starbucks during this semester. When I went for my interview with Ryan and Frank, I knew that I needed to work there. It wasn't even what I asked for, but now I'm a paid part-time worker there with the title of "administrator," though I think that gives me too much credit. I'm so thankful to be working, and to be working at a job I genuinely enjoy going to. Which reminds me...
-Frank and Ryan. These two guys are the best co-workers/bosses/office mates I could ever hope to have. Honestly. Thank you Frank for caring about my breakup when you hardly know me, playfully making fun of me (Ryan should be included in this one, too), and telling me at the end of almost every work day that you appreciate the job I'm doing. Thank you Ryan for liking good music and for recommending bands/artists to me that I actually listen to pretty constantly now, for making me laugh, and for engaging in weird discussions with me about cats and the people whose credit cards I run.

-Really cozy sweaters.
-Poetry, writing it and reading it and hearing it. It's a big part of my life.
-Ebony, the cat we were supposed to adopt. I wish we could have brought you home more than you know. You'll find a home because you're the sweetest cat in the whole shelter. I miss you and I'm sorry.

-Keila, for egging me on.
-Macaroni and cheese from Homeroom.
-Spotify, for helping me find so many new bands I love.
-Band of Horses.
-Rediscovering and multiplying my love of The Shins.
-Being able to meet some of my favorite blog friends this year (Kallie, Michal, Emily, Elanor, Ellie)
-This blog in general and the people it's led me to meet. My blog pals are some of the best people I know, and the thought of not ever meeting you guys is a terrible one.
-Henry David Thoreau.
- Kurt Vonnegut. And his books. He is a sage, and I wish I could have known him, though he probably wouldn't have really liked me.
-Foxes.
-The Bronx Zoo.
-Italian food in general because it is delicious.
-San Francisco and Santa Cruz, and for the fact that I got to visit California two years in a row (and maybe in January again)
-Dresses, for making me feel less chubby than pants, and for being cute.
-Hot chocolate on rainy nights.
-Donut Plant donuts. I was obsessing over them for months, then had one, and it was delicious.
-Pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin pie. Pumpkins.
-Every stranger who's improved my day without knowing it.
-My poetry professor for being a sage and making me want to write.
-That I have a roof over my head, food in my refrigerator, and clothes in my closet.
-Myself. This is kind of a weird one but, BEAR WITH ME, I was watching the biggest loser and Hannah was all, "This year I need to be thankful for myself and for how far I've come, because I've never done that before." You guys all know that since August, things have been pretty hectic. I broke up with a guy I had been with for four years, who was a really good guy, but the relationship just wasn't right. I needed to be more independent, stronger, overall just better and in a healthier state of mind. And I feel like I've already become a different person. I can handle more on my own, I can look at things in a positive way more often than ever before. I have a strength to me and a resolve that I never had before. I'm, to steal a phrase, still "getting used to my new normal," because it's so weird to feel stronger and better about myself. But I am, and I'm thankful so much for that.


The thing about these lists is that I am forgetting SO many important things and people. I should really, starting tomorrow, make a yearly list for next Thanksgiving so I don't frantically type up the things that pop into my head. But anyway, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you're all already having beautiful days, but if not, I hope they get better, and that you can force yourself (I know, it's not easy) to look at the good you've got.

Until tomorrow,
Nicole

We Fall In Love By Accident

I've spent most of the day baking for Thanksgiving (pecan pie is currently in the oven), but I still felt like dressing up since I had a few errands to run before hand. I got this corduroy jumper for my birthday and while I had been wanting it for a long time, it's proving to be a bit difficult to style. I like what I came up with for today, though. Big scarf, lots of brown, cozy town. Just what I needed for this rainy baking day.

Corduroy jumper, tights: Asos, Blouse: Nordstrom Rack, Sweater: Zara, Shoes: Urban Outfitters, Scarf: Taylor House













Until tomorrow,
Nicole

Writing Weekly, Part Four

Hey there, guys. This past weekend was somewhere on the bad side of the weekend spectrum. In short, my parents and I went to look at cats because I really want to adopt one. I got instantly attached to this fantastic cat named Joe Boy, and we decided to talk things over and maybe come back to the shelter mid-week to adopt him. My father mentioned that when he was a kid, he was allergic to cats. He assured us, while at the shelter, that he was doing fine being around the cats. My sister was the one who dragged it out of him that his eyes got a little scratchy at the shelter. There's a really good chance that we won't be able to give Joe Boy a home (man, it's really hard to type that out), and I may have spent Saturday night balled up on the floor, trying to work but mostly having to fight my emotions back, which as we all know I'm no good at. I've been spending my days frantically researching air filters and ways to reduce allergies in a home. I really don't want to give up on him, and am hoping we can make this work.

I didn't take pictures over the weekend, and I've been working all day today and don't feel much like taking tripod photos, so I figured this would be a good time for me to re-start the Writing Weekly feature I began over the summer. Instead of sharing a book of poetry I've read, I'm going to share one poem that's really resonating with me that week, then talk a little bit about why I think it's important. Well, here we go:


The Fetus’ Curious Monologue by Amy Gerstler



My tail was longer than my hindlegs
not so long ago. I remember the Flood
several Ice Ages being covered with fur
chalk beds trilobites giant ferns
a scaley monstrosity crawling out of the sea
croaking a great surprise awaits you


Will I too grow fins? feelers? an elephant’s trunk?
Cheerful to this hour, afloat in my private ocean,
I plan to make a grand entrance,


howling in molten dialect, Even the sea’s spooky depths
shall not alarm me for I am already sunk!
The life of darting shadows, the deceptive surface
of the world – I shall see right through
to the seaweedy bottom. I will not be fooled!


The body’s hinges itch.
Gill slits ventilated my neck
until yesterday.
A newfangled monster,
Now what will I breathe?


green lipped mussels
horseshoe crabs
coral and snails
waterworms


all sing of unalloyed joy and reciprocrated lust –
proof of progress, proof that evolution
is not just erosion, proof chiseled from limestone quarries
of womanly virtue (ageless patience, the warp and woof
of heredity’s tireless loom),
proof we do not really die
when our brief terms expire


My pink lungs are mutated swim bladders of fish.
A solitary wasp of consciousness
buzzes in my head while below,
the usual two room shack,
a bi-chambered heart is being constructed.


Someday I will have a scarlet hat and a ring,
perfect pitch,
a longing to be admonished.
Torn from the shores of immortality
I’m due to wash into the world soon,
wearing the face of a retired opera singer
mid-aria, famished and squalling.
I’m a festival of cells.
My blood’s as rich as Christmas
punch. Was I a horse thief in another life?
A blasphemous priest? What were my crimes?
What have I done to deserve to be bottled up thus?



I shared Amy Gerstler's work on this blog before, mainly because she's my current favorite poet, but also because I think her work manages to be both accessable and interesting. And life-altering, but that might just be me. In this poem, a fetus talks about its current situation and the changes its experiencing, and how terrifying and disorienting those changes can be. The fourth stanza is what really set me off. I've been going through a lot of personal changes, as you know, and the thought of living your whole life with gils, then losing them and being forced to find a new way to breath really affected me. I may or may not have melodramatically sobbed at the thought. This is why I love her poetry. Not because it can sometimes cause me to melodramatically sob, but because it takes something foreign and makes it completely relatable, something I wish I could do as well as her in my own work.


Until tomorrow,
Nicole

Mixed Berry

Last night, I had a looong night at work. I generally don't add extra vowels to the words in my blog posts, and I added them now - that's how long I was at work, and by myself for the most part. I mean, it was kind of nice. I work in a really cute little cottage-like building, so it was kind of cozy, listening to music and getting a bit of work done before the open mic later on that night. Unfortunately, I'm also terribly paranoid, so I was kind of afraid of someone breaking in and sneaking up on me or something ridiculous like that. Also, there's apparently a mouse running around in the office, and at one point I heard some weird scratchy noises coming from inside the wall, which prompted me to shuffle quickly out of the office and set up the cookie table. The open mic was nice, as it always is. There was a cool little band (who named themselves 'Dave&Erick' just before performing) and some good poetry as well. I think next time I'll work up the courage to actually read some of my own!

Anyway, I was going to write about last night in order to get the point that I wanted to be a bit more dressed up because I was the only person from the Writers' Center working the event but that I still wanted to comfortable, and this dress fit the bill quite nicely. I'm not sure why, but I really wanted to pair it with these maroon tights, which ended up making me look something like a mixed berry pie, with my feet being the crust. Maybe. In other news, I'm hungry, if that wasn't apparent.

Dress: Asos, Tights: We Love Colors, Shoes: A Wild Tonic vintage, Necklace: Grandma's











Until tomorrow,
Nicole

I Like You Because You're True Blue

Some of the best outfits make you look a little bit like an elderly person dressed you when you got up that morning, I think. There's just something so cozy about short pants, thick socks, and a big ol' sweater. A whole bunch of kids on my campus walk around in ankle length pants, showing off their awesome socks, so I decided to see what all the hype was about. That hype, in my opinion, is justified. Elderly appearance or not, I kind of dig it.

On another note, you guys know by know that poetry is really important to me. Over the summer I did a few installments of a feature called Writing Weekly, where I talked about a book of poetry I had read that week and shared some poems from the collection with you guys. Then, school started. And while I've been reading (and trying hard to write) poetry every week, it's been in smaller doses. But I really want it to have a place on this blog. I'm thinking of choosing a day to maybe just share one great poem I've read that week. Kind of like Writing Weekly, but on a smaller scale. If you guys have any ideas, or anything you'd like to see, I'm all ears! (Maybe not all ears, 'cause that's kind of weird to think about, but at least mostly ears).

Cords: Espirit, Sweater: Forever 21, Socks: Target, Oxfords: Ruche, Trench: H&M, Bag: Urban Outfitters





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Until tomorrow,
Nicole

These Boots

Whenever I wear boots, these boots in particular, I notice that I feel approximately twelve times more awesome. For some reason, I walk with more sass when I wear them. Is this a common symptom of boot wearing, or is it just me? Anyway, this is my first semi-successful attempt at indoor outfit photos. I was going to trek outside with my tripod for photos, but as I was getting dressed, it began to rain and didn't stop until just a little bit ago. And let me tell you, I just got the hang of making sure I'm in focus in my tripod pictures, so as determined as I am, I only very briefly considered lugging myself, my tripod, and my expensive camera out into the pouring rain. I think the photos came out alright. The lighting is, of course, iffy, but hey - I match my sofa, and that's pretty alright by me.

PS- There is totally a pencil under my sofa in these photos. I don't even know. Also, the phrase "There's a pencil under my sofa" sounds like secret code speak, but that's not what I meant, for the record.

Blouse, Sweater: H&M, Skirt: Asos, Boots: Famous Footwear, Hat: Modcloth











Until tomorrow,
Nicole