It's no secret that I love The Odyssey. Well, I certainly don't mean it to be a secret anyway. The first time I read it, I hated it. Hate. The second time I read it, I thought it had, at most, several redeeming qualities (Odysseus is, undeniably, an awful but lovable scamp. The third time I read it, though, I just lost it, or rather, lost myself in all of Odysseus' journeys. Every sassy comeback Odysseus yelled, every moment of strength Penelope exhibited, every mention of "wine blue water" and "dawn with her rosy fingers," was beautiful in a way it never had been to me before. When I was at the Brooklyn Flea a few months ago, I was able to pick up a new translation of the epic that I plan to read this summer. There's no denying that Odysseus has his problems. He probably has more problems than the average bear, even. But I like the idea that we're all sort of on our own Odyssey - moments of pride that get us in trouble, our curiosity leading us to exciting - sometimes worrisome - places, coming home but having to leave what we know behind again. Something about this dress just makes me think of The Odyssey. It's probably that the pattern reminds me of ancient urns, and the curves also make me think of waves lapping on the shore. So, despite the wild (or, considering The Odyssey, wildly APPROPRIATE) winds, I wanted to take some photos by the water. I think I might have even seen Odysseus' ship bobbing out at sea.
Dress:Asos, Tights: Macy's, Shoes: Korks by Kork Ease, Jacket: Salvation Army
(I wasn't kidding about the wind)
As a writer, and English major or sorts, I'm a big fan of symbolism, and interpreting texts. It's probably because I'm currently stuck in the quick sand of knee deep in a whole bunch of great works of literature right now, so I kind of can't resist analyzing my outfit. I've been wearing a lot of pick me up pieces this week. My sassy cowboy boots have been worn a few times, and you might have seen the terrifying shark shirt I wore in my last post. My red socks in today's post symbolize both my red-hot rage at the amount of work I have to get through, my romantic misadventures, and my passionate determination to push forward. The fact that I am wearing the colors of both ketchup and mustard suggest that I am hungry. That I've rolled up my pants is symbolic of the swampy, academic waters I am currently wading through, attempting to make it to the other side without wetting my pants. I won't get into what it means that I'm wearing a shirt covered in bunnies.
Blouse: H&M, Sweater: Madewell, Jeans: Levi's, Socks: Forever 21, Shoes: Dolce Vita via Marshall's
Everyday since Thursday, upon waking up, I keep forgetting what day it is. Saturday morning I got up at 8, and panicked because I thought I was running late for Tuesday's class. Later, when I got to work on Saturday, I panicked again because I thought I was missing my Monday teacher conference. As if this anecdote has not made it apparent enough, I have been all sorts of out of sorts lately. I've gotten a triple combination beat up from work, school, and my own dumb feelings this weekend that have made it hard for me to stay focussed and clear-minded. This week is my boss's last week before he leaves for another job, and the reality of it has been slowly (and now rapidly) becoming more apparent to me. I get very attached to people that I like, whatever the dynamic of our relationship, and aside from my personal feelings, I know that his leaving means that work will become more hectic, and the future of my job, more uncertain. I also took on more work than I should have this weekend, which provides a nice segue into my panic about school. The thing about school is that, though I have roughly 50 pages of writing to get done in the next three weeks, I know it will get done, because it has to. I may kick and whine and hide under a bucket of ice cream, but it will get done. Sure, it's an added stress I'd rather not have on my plate, and sure, I'm only making things more difficult for myself by trying to write an over-sharing blog post instead of a paper on Waverly, but it will get done. Then, my emotions have just been all over the place lately. I've been very teary lately, and though I'm generally a huge girl about everything and cry all over the place, it's been ridiculous. Like, I watched an episode of Ghost Adventures the other day and cried through the whole thing. I don't even know, guys. I've also just been struggling a lot with some romantic feelings. You know the drill - you like someone you shouldn't, then get all caught up in it when you shouldn't. I like someone who has a girlfriend, and I'm mad at myself for it, plain and simple. Well, not really plain and simple. I just feel like I'm caught in a weird, overwhelming cycle, a la Dante's circle of the lustful in Inferno, where I feel in control of my feelings and then I'm swept up and flung around for a while. I had a good, long sulk about it, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
This has been an attempt to clear my head, and also to lead into why I am wearing a shirt with a shark face on it. The last time I wore this tee shirt, it was the day hurricane Irene hit, and I was feeling ferocious and powerful. This weekend has left me feeling angry, tearful, hopeful, excited, anxious, pleased and with an unexplained pain in my right shoulder. If there was ever a time to wear a shark's face on my torso, it's now. I'm not sure if it's true, but I've heard often that sharks have to keep moving forward or they'll die. Never one to shy away from a metaphor, I may have also donned this shirt for that reason. I'm not good with change, I'm not good with situations I can't control, I'm not good with throwing caution to the wind. I am, however, quite exceptional at whining and complaining and forgetting my progress. So, here's to sharks. Here's to moving forward. Here's to writing fifty pages. Here's to succumbing to emotions and bursting out the other side, stronger and more aware. Here's to The Shins. Here's to progress.
Shirt: Ex boyfriend's ex shirt, Skirt: Thrifted, Shoes: Korks by Kork Ease
If you've been hanging around this blog long enough, you'll probably know that I'm a big ol' fan of The Shins. You also might know that I'm big on fate, and the universe, and that I like to chew your ear off (type your eyes off? Ugh, that's terrible, I'm sorry) about this topic quite often. Once I put on these minty jeans, it immediately reminded me of The Shins song Sea Legs, and when I got into the car this morning, the first song that came on the radio was a Shins song (It's Only Life, to be exact). Of course, the universe and I had to have a little moment, and then off I went to school. The radio subsequently played some unfortunately spot on love songs (one of which being I Think I Love You by David Cassidy) but that, my friends, is content for some other blog post. Probably tomorrow's. Because, if you really have been hanging around this blog as long as I have been assuming you have throughout this post, you will most certainly know that I have no emotional boundaries and tend to over-share. All the time. About everything. Ever.
Note: These photos are so weird looking because I took them myself in super bright lighting, which I am, apparently, not at all good at. So, since the lighting was awful, I messed around with them in picasa, and ended up making them look like they were taken through a sunglass lense. Imagination station!
Sea Legs: Urban Outfitters, Shirt: Delia's, Jean Jacket: Salvation Army, Shoes: Korks by Kork Ease
In writing this post, my original intention was to lament about the amount of work slowly piling up on top of me as the semester's end draws (stampedes?) closer and closer, but then I started to reflect on the past few days. I've been busy, almost to the point of tears, and in my wake have destroyed a whole tub of the most delicious hazelnut ice cream, but the weather has been so rich and warm, that I've been able to maintain a weird sense of calm. Today was not extraordinary, but it felt extraordinary just because the sunlight made everything seem a bit more promising. I sweat like that icy bottle of coke you left on the front porch for too long, I a small talked with a guy whose voice was as soft as down feathers, I walked around campus barefoot for a little while until I reached my car, I drove home with only one shoe on, I got unfortunate comments on a paper I wrote but saw the one good comment digging its way out from the negative words, I drove the same old route from home to school to home but was genuinely excited about everything becoming greener and greener. Typical, but not typical at all. This outfit is pretty typical, but that's okay.
Blouse: Nordstrom, Shorts: Levi's outlet, Shoes: Korks by Kork ease
From the first time I tried on this blouse, it reminded me of clown clothes. The polka dots, the oversized bow, the tent shape - clown! This was, of course, a selling point for me. Of course I had to throw in my little red socks as a nod to the circus.
At work today, my boss complimented my blouse, pointing out how "fantastic" the bow was, and I of course, said it was a little bit clowny. This started a five minute talk about my outfit by both of my bosses, in which my younger boss made an astute point: "The lace makes it less clowny. If there wasn't that lace, though. Clowns don't wear lace." Check and match. Also, they were really impressed that the lace blouse was separate from the polka dot blouse (at which point I exclaimed, "LAYERING!"). Also also, I really like my job. Also also also, I know I've been an awful blog pal. It's a lame excuse, but school's picked up, and I haven't been able to manage my time well enough to get around to reading blogs. But I miss it so, and I miss you guys a ton, so hopefully I'll get my butt in gear and start commenting on your beautiful blogs again. Thanks for sticking with me!
If, in some sort of absurd life or death situation in which someone held a gun up to my head and forced me to choose my favorite Billy Joel song, I would probably say Vienna. It's one of those songs that always kind of makes me chill out and get a handle on myself and what's going on in my life. I've been listening to the song a lot lately (and singing along to it dramatically while driving to work) just because I'm feeling this weird combination of overwhelmed and underwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed in the sense of school, and subsequently the decisions I have to make, as well as a few changes that have recently entered my life (nothing crazy, I'm just supercrazy sensitive and easily affected by little changes), and I'm kind of underwhelmed in the fact that I don't feel like I'm doing and accomplishing enough. It's an awkward combination that sort of negates itself and doesn't make sense, and while it's sort of left me in this static cloud of befuddlement, it's also got me hopeful and excited about pushing forward and finding my own way about things. And a good song to remind me that I'm capable, but can only do so much right now, is always helpful.
I don't know that I can figure out an effective segue from Billy Joel to this outfit. I felt like Billy Joel in this outfit? Not really. I felt like I should wear this outfit in Vienna? Probably not. So let's just say that I like this outfit, and I like Billy Joel, and that should be good enough.
Today is my sister's last day in New York (cue copious melodramatic weeping. But seriously) so we went up to Bear Mountain, one of my absolute favorite nearby places. The weather was perfect, as was the company, as was the frisbee. Seriously, I love frisbee. I also rolled down a hill and got goose poop in my hair, but it was worth it because I laughed the whole way down. I've had such a fun week with my sister and her girlfriend, and I can't wait to go visit them in California veeeeery soon! So, here are some pictures from today, mostly of me because I'm vain, or because my mom had the camera most of the day. You choose.
Rolling! I look unconscious.
A REAL frisbee action shot, because my mom is awesome.