Monday, January 17, 2011

Breath Easy

So, today is my last day of winter break. Tomorrow, it's back to super crazy registration process (though running back and forth around campus does make me feel purposeful) and then class. I'm not going to be all "I just need one more week!" because if I could keep saying that and having it keep happening I don't know that I would ever get a degree in anything. Well, it would probably just take me a really long time. I think the whole not wanting to go back thing stems more from my own fears of not being a good enough student (mainly for one class, as most of you know) as well as an uncomfortable feeling of regret as break draws to a close. It's kind of always this way, though. Make big extravagant plans to bungee jump and join a circus and road trip around the entire world, which isn't even possible (or is it?) but you get my point. Then break ends and it's just this feeling of...oops. I don't like this "feeling of oops," not one bit, but it seems like it's always around. Break has provided me with a lot (too much) time to roam the many dead end streets of my brain, and I've overanalyzed and re-overanalyzed a lot of aspects of my life. If there's one reason I'm thankful for school starting up it's because it'll give my brain something to focus on other than itself. I'm naturally a worrysome, thoughtful person, so with enough time on my own I start to doubt myself. And I've done that a whole lot in the past week. But, I like to think that I'm coming out the other side, at least for now. I know what I want. I know that I need to stop imposing standards on myself, standards that I'm CONVINCED people have for me when they don't. So, I'm just going to convince myself that I'm eager for this new semi-fresh start that I've got here in front of me.

I spent today, much like the other days of my break, just running some errands. I'm all out of Criminal Minds episodes on my DVR, but if I wasn't I'm sure that would be on the agenda for today. Also, this doesn't have much to do with today per say, but on Friday I'll be going to a concert, my first in a long, long time. As some of you know, I used to be super into the pop punk, emo thing, and I really went to small shows all the time. Now though, I'm kind of feeling...elderly? I'm going with my friend/brother to a Bayside show, mainly because he's never been to one, and by the time I was his age I had been to probably at least five. I figure he deserves a chance to see a band he loves live, because it kind of is a wonderful experience. Originally, I was griping about the sweaty people and the crowds and the getting smooshed into body parts and walls, but then I realized I sounded like an old man. I'm nineteen, and damnit, I should act like it sometimes (but only sometimes, because other times I'm content with at least dressing like an old lady)! This has been so ramble-y! To be frank (I used this phrase like eight times on Christmas Eve when talking to family members I don't see often. I can't explain why, it just happened), I've been a bit of a downer this week, but this is me trying to realize that, at least to a certain extent, I have the choice whether or not to be happy about things life throws my way, and I really should try to make the less downery choice.

Dress: Salvation Army
Sweater: H&M
Tights: ?
Belt: Target
Scarf: Macy's
Shoes: Toms!

Until Tomorrow,


  1. Haha, I know what you mean about feeling elderly at 19...I try and go to my favorite bands' shows whenever they're in the 70-80 mile area range, but they're always playing at tiny little clubs, and I feel outta place. XD
    Best of luck with the new semester!

  2. Cute outfit! And I know what you mean about making big plans for break and then feeling "oops" afterwards. However this break I've actually been pretty productive! I'm proud of myself. I didn't accomplish everything on my list, but things get booked up so fast.

    I hope you enjoy your first days of class : )

  3. You're making me feel old now. I'm 23 and never been to been to a concert and now I feel too old to go to the music festivals, though I would love to.

  4. i used to go see a lot of bands in smaller clubs when i was your age.. i didn't really start feeling too old for it until i turned 21... then, it was weird to be able to have the wrist band to drink or be on the upper level where the bar is located. haha... and now that i'm in my mid-twenties, even thinking about going to a show like that (even if i adore the band) is outta the question! but i definitely think it depends on the band too. i liked kings of leon when they first started out in small, sweaty clubs, and as they've grown as a bigger more popular band, so have their venues, so i don't mind going to see them.

    oh well... have fun because you are still young!!

  5. We have the same Toms! Gray bear print inside? Good choice.

  6. This is such a cute outfit. I'm loving the red and deep blue together. Sometimes I do feel so elderly as I can be such a homebody at times (especially during breaks)...haha though compared to you I guess I am elderly. I will always make the exception for good music though even if I do feel ridiculously out of place.

    Lovely as always:)

  7. The colors in these outfits are so wonderful. Subtly red white and blue hehe :)

  8. me lovingggggggg the red dress!!!! It's cute!! :) :)

  9. My brother loves Bayside. He went to their show on Saturday. I sat here nodding along to your post. I act like an old person, and barely go out. I used to be all emoish/punky. Now I'm just whatever I feel like. I hold unbelievable standards for myself. At 22 I expect myself to have all my shit together, and I have no idea why. I'm ashamed that I'm not farther in life sometimes. I have to give myself a break sometimes.
    My Heart Blogged

  10. Aww I'm sorry, I know I'll feel just like you when I go back to school next week. Good luck on registration, I absolutely hate crashing classes but our terrible school's budget and lack of classes makes it impossible to do otherwise. Cute dress too!

  11. I havent commented in forevva, but I'm back and I love this color combo girl. Hope your classes are going well :)

  12. I love that dress! What a great thrift!


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