Losing It

As much as I love a good cardigan, there was no way I was throwing anything on over this dress today, what with it being a whopping NINETY TWO out today. It's ridiculous. I wanted to keep things as cool and simple as possible while still trying to keep in mind some sense of style.




Dress: Jack by B.B. Dakota/Pacsun, Wedges: Mom's, Belt: NY&Co, Bow: Claire's, Bracelet: Brookish

Shortly after these photos were snapped, I headed off to Target to pick up a few new belts (I got two!). This subject, belts, leads me to a topic I've been wanting to post about, but haven't yet: my weight loss. Back in November, the weekend after Thanksgiving I believe, me, my mom, and some close family friends all decided to join weight watchers. I've joined weight watchers many, many times before, but we all agreed that this time would be different because we all had eachother for support. And this time was different, or perhaps I should say is different, since I'm still on the diet. Since the end of November I've lost just about 30 pounds, or 28.8 to be exact).



When I started dieting, I was at my highest weight ever, 190 pounds. The most frustrating part about weighing that much was that I couldn't see it. I thought the way I looked and my actual weight didn't correlate, that I was smaller than I actually was. I've been overweight for most of my life. I was the chubby kid in grammar school, and one of the chubby kids in high school. It's not fun, and it can be painful, but I had a lot of support, and a lot of people who loved me for who I was and helped me to do the same. Even so, I wanted to lose weight for myself. I had started reading fashion blogs the summer before I started weight watchers, and I saw all of these girls so happy, comfortable, and beautiful in their own skin. I wasn't completely happy in my own skin, and while I do like the person I am, I really did think it was time to lose some weight. So I did, and still am (though yummy summer bbqs have not been helping!).



Even after losing 30 pounds, though, I couldn't really see it. I still saw the same body, the same curves and chub, even with my pants feeling looser and fitting into some smaller sized clothing. People who haven't seen me in a while tell me how "skinny" I've gotten, but their opinions don't matter to me if I can't see the change. This is part of the reason I decided to start this blog. I thought, maybe if I see myself, really look at myself and put myself out there, I'll see the change I've been working really hard to make. And after seeing today's pictures in particular, I think I'm starting to.



So, I guess I should explain how this whole thing relates to belts. Well, the belt I'm wearing in these photos I've had for over a year, since before the diet. Back then, it fit. Now, It wraps halfway around my body after I cinch it, and I have to safety pin it to ensure that I don't look like I have a tail growing out of my waist. So today, I finally got new belts, that fit, and while it's a very little occurrence, it feels very rewarding.

Ah! Sorry for such a long post, but I wanted to get this out there. Thanks for reading, it means a lot.

Until tomorrow,
Nicole :)