I woke myself up stupidly early today, earlier than I have to wake up at any point during the week when I have actual commitments. As I sit on the porch wrapped in a blanket, chew (read: scarf down) this warm pumpkin muffin, and sip (read: gulp down) coffee from my "bearly awake" mug, and listen to slow Avett Brothers jams, it feels pretty worth it. The thing is, I haven't really had a moment like this since school started, where I didn't feel guilty for relaxing, where I felt actually, really, calm. I know that everyone gets overwhelmed when school starts up again, or a vacation ends and routine returns, so I'm going to do something really original and say, Phew, I have been overwhelmed. See, I didn't actually do something original there, but it was kind of a surprise because I lied to you. Right? Right. I was going to list all of my current commitments, but then I was like, you guys do not want to read that, and I don't really want to see all of that in list form because it would probably make me hide completely under this blanket. Though, that does sound pretty cozy. I will say though, that I've been pushing myself to try a few new things lately (teaching, play writing) and that it's been a weird sort of rewarding, being catapulted into things I can't possibly be wonderful at on the first go. I'm insecure, but trying to channel that nauseous nagging gut-feeling into doing better, and being excited that a year ago, I would not, not ever, be trying these things out, or trusting myself as much as I currently am. Can we raise our bear mugs to trying new things and trusting ourselves? Clink. (That was the clink of our bear mugs, for the record).
Until tomorrow,
Nicole
