Sunday, January 6, 2013

The Wanting Comes in Waves

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You guys are great. Really. I'm not just trying to flatter you or anything. You're really great! Over the past year especially, I've wanted this blog to become a safe place for me to overshare, and for you guys to share your stories if you feel inclined. So, I just wanted to thank you for your kind words and inspiring stories on my last post. I mentioned in that post that my main goal for the new year was focus. I haven't been all that focused lately, but I have been thoughtful about what I want, and that's at least something. Around the end of December, I came up with this silly idea for a sonnet sequence. I think I was, like, on the express bus coming home from a day in the city when I thought of it, or something very ordinary like that. One of the many things that makes writing difficult for me is this idea of "inspiration." I'm in no position to declare what the "most important" thing you need to have in order to be a real deal writer is, but I will say that I've learned discipline is at least on par with inspiration. Maybe I'm just inclined to say that because it's also one of the most difficult parts about writing for me. As convenient for me as it would be for "inspiration" to just happen, there's work to be done. I think my brain always needs to be turned on to poetry. It's got to be searching for and recognizing what can be a poem, a first line, a metaphor. It's hard work, and I forget that (or ignore it) too frequently. So, giving myself this project, and not "waiting" for something to "speak to me" (oh my god that was like the worst thing I've ever typed), is terrifying. I'm not giving myself any sort of deadline, and even if nothing comes of it, it's something I need to try. It's easy, or at least easier, to write something when you're in a class, and it's required. There's a push there, and it's nice to have a force of motivation. But, I'm graduating (very very very, oh my god, very) soon, and I'm going to be the only person there to push myself. So, here goes a test run!


Another goal, like I said, was to get comfortable with my body, and figure out how to use my old clothes to dress myself in a way that feels good. I used to be more into experimenting with my clothes, spending late nights putting outfits together in front of my mirror. And while that's not too much my thing anymore (that may be a lie), I think a bit of creativity could come in handy in figuring this out.

blouse: Levi's, Tee: Threadless, Skirt: H&M, Shoes: Clarks

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This is how I dance (not really) (really).

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Until tomorrow,
Nicole

10 comments:

  1. this skirt is so cute! i've been dreaming of one just like it for awhile now :)

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  2. i think this outfit is darling. and the best of luck with all your goals. i too am currently up 10lbs from my low weight. and i feel kinda crummy about it? but also, kind of unwilling to currently alter my behavior (food) but email me if you ever need anything! i do also have your books still, i did not forget.

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  3. You look amazing and that outfit is so cute! I love the skirt!!

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  4. Absolutely love this outfit and this skirt!

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  5. i love the skirt! :) that'sso great! :)Irene Wibowo

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  6. Awe, I love how honest you are, Nicole! You just keep on doin' what feels right, you hear? I adore your pleathery leathery skirt of prettiness and those boots look fun to stop around in!

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  7. I seriously have an obsession with Clarks. I need a pair sooo bad. And your tee is fantastic!

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  8. Can I just say I think you are the coolest.

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  9. Jasmine, Transient WithdrawalJanuary 10, 2013 at 12:51 AM

    I looooove what you wrote about inspiration! More often than not, we just wait for inspiration to come rather than actively seeking and recognizing it. However, I also still believe that inspiration can come at the most random times and from the smallest or most random things. Inspiration is a tricky thing it is. :) Love this outfit too Nicole! I'm starting to get into the whole layering collared shirts underneath thing too!

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  10. You look so simple and pretty...love your simplicity!

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Thank you so, so much for taking some time to comment on my blog!