I thought that would be an appropriate post title because I have, indeed, been going crazy, crazy, crazy (thought not in the "tonight let's get some!" way, unfortunately. Ahem) and it's been raining a lot. I have been very overwhelmed, lately. Hence, things have been uncharacteristically quiet up in this joint. This week has been very difficult. A lot of things have happened in a short amount of time, which triggered thoughts and thoughts and thoughts, about everything. I've been hard on myself, and then very selfish, and then optimistic, hard on myself again, and stressed to the point where I probably could have thrown up if I really tried hard enough. It's just that, simultaneously I feel things changing, feel myself changing, the people around me changing, my needs and expectations changing, situations changing, and it's a lot to take in. Really, I'd rather not take it in. I'd rather hide under 30 blankets and not look it in the face. At the same time that I feel things changing, though, I feel stagnant, and stuck. I remember feeling this to a lesser extent when I was a senior in high school, but I didn't expect it being a senior in college. This itch for new-ness, coupled with this fear my own shortcomings. At this point, I'd like to invite you to sigh with me. 1, 2, 3...sigh. I feel slightly better now that we've sighed. This is turning into a rambly mess, but I think that's okay. Sometimes my thoughts are messy, sometimes I can't formulate them all into a coherant blog post, but (un)lucky for you guys, I TRY ANYWAY.
These outfit photos are from over a week ago, but I think they're apporpriate. This is an outfit I keep repeating, because it feels very
me, whatever that means. When a lot of things are changing and feeling mega weird, it's nice to have even a small way of feeling good and comfortable and stripey.
Until tomorrow,
Nicole
the cutest lumberjack.
ReplyDeleteClarks are the most comfortable shoes ever! I love them!
ReplyDelete~Anna Lee McFadden
http://thesquirrelnextdoor.blogspot.com/
I know what you mean about being so stressed to your throw up. I have a habit of doing that to myself, and then crashing for a week or two. It's not a healthy cycle and I need to introduce some balance into my life. But I love what I do! Its hard.
ReplyDeletePs - you look adorable : ) Love your shoes, top and coat. And I LOVE this place you've been taking pictures at lately.
i remember that feeling. senior year of college and all through my first post-collegiate summer, i felt like my friends were purposefully leaving me out, like i was stuck and didn't know where i was going, like i needed major change. then i made a spontaneous decision to move to oregon, and within a month i had a boyfriend, a new job, and a whole new life (for the record, i am still with that boyfriend). when i came back to the east coast i realized that my friends didn't hate me (we're still close), and that maybe i just needed to experience something new. just a thought. i always advocate temporary escapism :)
ReplyDeleteAGAIN NICOLE? You took the words right out of my mind! Especially with "This itch for new-ness, coupled with this fear [of] my own shortcomings." OMG. I want to email you soon to catch up with each other (and to do a swap!), so look forward to that :) This outfit is definitely very you and it looks super cozy! And I always love a good striped outfit!
ReplyDeleteNicole, we are part of a larger group of young people 'round here that are all stuck in the same place. I keep stumbling across articles and studies about the lack of opportunity for 18-29 year olds in the country and it makes me sad because I'm stuck in that place. I have to keep realizing how many things I really AM doing with my life regularly because I feel like I'm on the cusp of newness but everything is dull and old. So, what I'm saying, I guess, is I'm right there with you.
ReplyDeleteP.S. We need a skype date soon.
I don't know what's going on in your life but it will all turn out awesome in the end! Because you're amazing. x
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how your feeling! I only wish for things to calm down and get better!
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling! I like to think that we can definitely get through it... :)
ReplyDelete