I Didn't Know I'm Not Invincible

Happy Halloween! Unfortunately, today's not feeling very autumnal or Halloweeny in these parts. If it wasn't for the teeny costumed children knocking on the door I may have forgotten all about the holiday. I was originally going to wear this leather skirt with an orangey sweater, but I really wasn't in the mood for being overtly Halloween. So, I went with dark colors, mostly just because I felt like it, but partly as a nod to the holiday. Do you guys have any plans tonight? All I've got on deck is some quality time with Ovid's love poetry and a bag of candy, but I'm not complaining. Candy is delicious.

Top/Dress, Skirt, Sweater: H&M, Tights: We Love Colors, Shoes: Urban Outfitters

The Times They Are Strange, But They're Bound to Change

One of the worst parts of breakups, for me, is the doubt and worry they bring. When I was still deliberating my decision, one of the major factors that was keeping me in my relationship was the fear that I would never find someone else who would love me, let alone want to date me. Now, obviously this is no reason to stay with someone, but it was for me. The thought of being alone is terrifying. You don't know how many times I've thought "I'm too weird for anyone to like. Who wants this weird girl who eats pastries like it's nobody's business and spends her Friday nights dramatically lipsyncing to Jack's Mannequin songs?" I was with someone who didn't mind those things about me and couldn't help but question the odds that there was some OTHER guy out there who would do the same. I currently have a bit of a crush on a guy that most likely will not be, uh, "falling in love with me" anytime soon for a multitude of reasons. In the short amount of time that I've known him (read: been irrationally enamored with him), I've thought a million times about how he's just "too good for me": "He's so cute! He's so funny! He's not terrifyingly awkward in social situations! He's probably a hit at parties! He's so nice! He wears plaid! He could never like me." I'm naturally insecure and doubtful of my own worth. One of the reasons I ended my last relationship is because I didn't like the person I had become in that four year span. I was terribly needy, dependent, unhappy, and insecure - all things I do not want to be. And I feel like I'm finally starting to become the person I really want to be, though, I'm still of course in baby steps mode. Today, I was having a particularly doubtful day, and couldn't shake these thoughts much at all. So on my way home I stopped by the park and did some writing and thinking. One of things I thought was that you can't get upset that someone doesn't like what they don't know about you. I'm naturally inclined to hold back when I meet new people. I'm shy, but also weird, which means I overly think about what I share with people and what I don't. It also means that I end up sharing ridiculous things I shouldn't share ("I"M NOT SPECIAL ENOUGH TO TAKE TO A FANCY RESTAURANT,") though that's a different - but related - story. I want to stop worrying about "being too weird for people" and just be myself. In reality, if someone doesn't like the eccentric things that make me who I am, I don't want to be their friend or girlfriend. But I'll never know if they like me or not if I don't give them the chance to see me in all my nerdy, hungry, lipsyncing glory, no. So instead of saying someone's "too good for me," I'd like to be saying "maybe we'd be good for each other," you know? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this stuff. I know my posts have been introspective and break-up related lately, but that's what I'm feeling and thinking, so that's what I feel like I have to share here.

Blouse, Skirt, Shoes: Urban Outfitters, Cardigan, Trench: H&M, Tights: We Love Colors











Until tomorrow,
Nicole

You've Got Too Much to Wear on Your Sleeves

This is what I wore on Friday, to an open mic night at my workplace. The event was pretty fun. A bunch of people from the area came to share some of the things they've been writing lately. Some were good, some were infuriating. Well, mainly one was infuriating man who read poetry children had written and made comments throughout mocking it. That was swell. Poetry is something dear to my heart, and I don't like to see people kick it around. It was really nice to hear a lot of different voices though. My most favorite of the night was this guy who read his children's story to us (he even showed us the pictures!). It was a story about a guy who loves to eat so much, then gets a job at a restaurant, but gets fired because he eats too much! I wanted to be like, "Did you mean MY LIFE?" but I, uh, didn't say that to him. I did tell him that I loved his story though, and he and his wife seemed like just the sweetest people. Overall, it was a nice night. OH, and you folks that like the Shins (should be all of you, really) will appreciate this. One of my bosses at work has the "clap clap clap clap clap clap WOOH!" from the opening of the Shins song "Kissing the Lipless" as his notification sound. It's fantastic, and I'm jealous I didn't think of it first.

Top: Delia's, Skirt: H&M, Shoes: Urban Outfitters, Jean Jacket: Salvation Army, Adorable dinosaur pin: Bethany of Bunny Picnic!








Look at the adorable dinosaur pin Bethany sent me! It's the cutest ever, and he and Thoreau are now just hanging out on my jean jacket together. You all should visit her wonderful store!

Until tomorrow,
Nicole

Meeting Michal!

So, yesterday I got the opportunity to hang out with one of my most favorite blog pals, Michal of North Country Girl! She and her friend Erin are in the city for the week, so we decided to indulge in some tea, scones, and sandwiches at Alice's Teacup. Let me just say, these ladies are a hoot and a half. I don't think I stopped laughing or talking the whole time I was with them. Michal is just as wonderful, funny, and delightful (I've been using that word SO MUCH lately) as she is in person, and I had a great time getting to better know her, and meeting her best friend Erin, who's just as awesome. There was much talk of blogging, unfortunate fashion misadventures (pink velour tracksuit, anyone?), and philosophical discussions of the Aristocats and Cinderella. Afterwards, we stopped into an American Apparel store to, well, basically mock everything they stocked. Fun! We ended the afternoon taking a few pictures in Central Park, and then parted ways as I ran through traffic to catch my bus home. I had SUCH a wonderful time with Michal and Erin, and I hope I get to see them again soon!


Tea! I had the Indian Chai and it was lovely.


Hummus Sandwich!


Pumpkin Scone!




Michal was wearing such a cute outfit! Denim vests are the best, seriously.





Hooray!

Until tomorrow,
Nicole