I've thought a lot about this (SURPRISE SURPRISE) and I realized that fashion blogging has a tendency to make me feel bad about things I would never feel bad about in "real life," or whatever. I don't feel bad about not having a QT photographer boyfriend or lacking photography skills. I don't feel bad about whether or not I have new clothes. I don't feel bad about whether people think my yellow-y teeth are gross or that my calves are more like COWS (see what I did there? See it? I capitalized it). I don't feel bad that I don't go to cute cupcakeries on the daily (though I would like to, sure, because cupcakes). I don't feel bad about how the colors of my clothes look in photographs as opposed to real life. I don't feel bad! When I get caught up in blogging though, I do feel bad about these things. Now, I still enjoy reading fashion and lifestyle blogs. I love seeing what pastries people are eating and their really cool, inspiring outfits and their fun adventures. However, when I'm blogging, and participating, and putting my own content out there, I can feel like my life/clothes/melodrama are all just not good enough, not for myself, but for the blog world.
I decided a long time ago that this blog was not going to be for anyone but me, and if people wanted to follow along - great! I've met innumerable amazing people through this blog. And a good counter-argument for the previous paragraph is "DO YOUR OWN THING, GURL, DON'T CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK." And I appreciate that. But frankly, there's something about blogging that makes me care more about what other people think, rather than less, and I'm not too down with that. There's also just the fact that I don't feel inspired to carry on with posting outfits of myself. I told you guys that I'd been feeling weird about my body, and that's true. I've also been all over the place with my personal style, which is nowhere near what is was this time last year, and has toned down significantly. And by "toned down," I really mean "I wear the same striped shirt and jeans every day." I've always been "busy," but blogging was something I was passionate enough to stick to. Now though, I don't enjoy taking outfit pictures. I don't enjoy putting together interesting outfits as much as I used to. I still like writing, but I've been trying to gear that drive more towards my poetry, so the content I would put here has been steered elsewhere (sometimes).
I guess this is a very long-winded way of saying what has probably already become super apparent - that I won't be blogging as much. I'm sure there will be blog posts because I am no good at saying goodbyes or letting anything I care about or have once cared about alone (the second part of this sentence is definitely about blogs and not men). But you guys have shared your stories with me countless times, and have let me be honest with you just as many times, and I figured I should share my thoughts about blogging. I have a lot of things I want to do. I have a lot of thoughts and plans and fears and hopefully donuts. Maybe this blog will turn into something different. Maybe it will peter out. Maybe I will embarrass myself and decide tomorrow that I actually love fashion blogging and return back and better than ever. Maybe this post will self-destruct after you read this. I don't know, really. But I do know that you guys deserved to know what's been going on up in this here noggin, because you've been so supportive of the goop that it has previously dispelled. That was disgusting. Thank you for the journey so far, and for seeing where this whole thing goes next.
If you do leave this blog for good, I hope it turns into a donut.
ReplyDeleteYou do you, &c. &c., but I hope you'll be sticking around on the internet because I like your writing and penchant for bear(d)s a lot!!!
Awe, Nicole, I'm with you whether or not you decide to leave your blog. I think that before you just leave completely, though, that you should try steering your blog in a new direction. You're always so passionate about what you write and in all the things you say, so maybe you should turn this into more of a writing/poetry blog opposed to a fashion-based one (but not to say you wouldn't not post outfits unless you wanted to). Whatever you decide to do, though, I'm so glad that we were able to meet! <3 And that I have you on the FUNKY FACEBOOKZ so if you do go poof you'll still be in my heaaart <3
ReplyDeleteFuck yes to doing what feels right and what makes you happy. I quit ~fashion blogging~ for over a year and it was awesome, but I'm too shallow to quit forever. I hope you'll still occasionally write here though! I love hearing your thoughts; they're always so genuine and articulated so well. x
ReplyDeleteI totally understand and I love this outfit.
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Damn it! Just when I've recently found your blog and I really liked it because of it's trueness and down-on-earthness, you are thinking about quitting. Don't do it. Here, I said it. I understand that all your feelings towards fashion-outfit-posts blogging are absolutely valid (it doesn't differ that much from feelings similar when you look at magazine photoshop altered pictures and fell bad about yourself) and I'm whining like little kid, but you are you, and I like it, and I like it that blogs like yours still exist, where I can visit, can read, can relate and look at pictures and see a real person, even if you wear just jeans and t-shirts. I would be hypocrite if I say that I don't like to look at super beautiful almost not natural pictures, but what I like the most about blogs - its diversity. And I think that yours deserves to be in blog world, a place where nobody has to feel bad about themselves (and can eat donuts, everyday for the rest of their lives).
ReplyDeleteGURLLLL
ReplyDeleteDO WHAT YOU WANNA DO
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GURLLLLL
^ that's a poem
I've had SO much coffee today.
I'm going to text you in a moment.
Nicole, I just want to say that I really love this outfit and that I would very much like to re-create it and I need to go buy some brown tights, lol. Dude, do whatever you want! If you feel like taking a break, take a break, if you think maybe posting other things might be better, do that! I miss your poem posts, btw. I honestly am in the same boat with you though, I have gained weight, I wear the same things and most of the time, my style is boring. (Except you look awesome, and I like your style or I would not have said that I would want to wear this outfit.)
ReplyDelete1. My friend used to hand people her cell phone when she said "hold the phone." It was the source of many amusing moments.
ReplyDelete2. I like reading that people feel free to do what they want. If you want to blog, blog. If you want to stop, stop. I'd miss you, but, you know... my blog has slowed down, I'm focused on quality, and doing what I want to do, too, so I understand. Just keep me in the loop with your life a bit, please?
Awww I'm more than a little gutted that I've just discovered your blog and instantly fallen in love with it just as you're calling it quits. I can definitely empathise with some of the negative aspects you mention of blogging but I think once the negative things start to outnumber the positive for you then maybe it is time to call it quits. Though maybe what you need is a change of direction - as they say a change is as good as a rest :) I guess I'll just have to find solace in your archives for now :) The best of luck with whatever you do in the future - your writing is beautiful, honest and insightful so as long as you're still sharing it with the world through some medium or other that's the main thing :)
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness Nicole--you've done it yet again! You hit it right on the nail with this post! This is the reason why I decided to take a step back from blogging too! And it really has been wonderful--not having to worry how photogenic my outfit is or if I look fat that day or fussing over if my bangs will stay still long enough for some pictures, etc. I almost called it quits on my blog too, but it's just hard to say goodbye to the ole thing, especially since it's captured my change over the past 3+ years. I have a post scheduled for tomorrow, but I have decided that I'm going to blog at my own pace, on my own terms, because it just really isn't fun when you do it any other way! You always are beautiful to me Nicole--inside and out! Even though we're both not blogging as frequently anymore, we really NEED to email each other and catch up! Ah! <3
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