Writing Weekly, Part Four

Hey there, guys. This past weekend was somewhere on the bad side of the weekend spectrum. In short, my parents and I went to look at cats because I really want to adopt one. I got instantly attached to this fantastic cat named Joe Boy, and we decided to talk things over and maybe come back to the shelter mid-week to adopt him. My father mentioned that when he was a kid, he was allergic to cats. He assured us, while at the shelter, that he was doing fine being around the cats. My sister was the one who dragged it out of him that his eyes got a little scratchy at the shelter. There's a really good chance that we won't be able to give Joe Boy a home (man, it's really hard to type that out), and I may have spent Saturday night balled up on the floor, trying to work but mostly having to fight my emotions back, which as we all know I'm no good at. I've been spending my days frantically researching air filters and ways to reduce allergies in a home. I really don't want to give up on him, and am hoping we can make this work.

I didn't take pictures over the weekend, and I've been working all day today and don't feel much like taking tripod photos, so I figured this would be a good time for me to re-start the Writing Weekly feature I began over the summer. Instead of sharing a book of poetry I've read, I'm going to share one poem that's really resonating with me that week, then talk a little bit about why I think it's important. Well, here we go:


The Fetus’ Curious Monologue by Amy Gerstler



My tail was longer than my hindlegs
not so long ago. I remember the Flood
several Ice Ages being covered with fur
chalk beds trilobites giant ferns
a scaley monstrosity crawling out of the sea
croaking a great surprise awaits you


Will I too grow fins? feelers? an elephant’s trunk?
Cheerful to this hour, afloat in my private ocean,
I plan to make a grand entrance,


howling in molten dialect, Even the sea’s spooky depths
shall not alarm me for I am already sunk!
The life of darting shadows, the deceptive surface
of the world – I shall see right through
to the seaweedy bottom. I will not be fooled!


The body’s hinges itch.
Gill slits ventilated my neck
until yesterday.
A newfangled monster,
Now what will I breathe?


green lipped mussels
horseshoe crabs
coral and snails
waterworms


all sing of unalloyed joy and reciprocrated lust –
proof of progress, proof that evolution
is not just erosion, proof chiseled from limestone quarries
of womanly virtue (ageless patience, the warp and woof
of heredity’s tireless loom),
proof we do not really die
when our brief terms expire


My pink lungs are mutated swim bladders of fish.
A solitary wasp of consciousness
buzzes in my head while below,
the usual two room shack,
a bi-chambered heart is being constructed.


Someday I will have a scarlet hat and a ring,
perfect pitch,
a longing to be admonished.
Torn from the shores of immortality
I’m due to wash into the world soon,
wearing the face of a retired opera singer
mid-aria, famished and squalling.
I’m a festival of cells.
My blood’s as rich as Christmas
punch. Was I a horse thief in another life?
A blasphemous priest? What were my crimes?
What have I done to deserve to be bottled up thus?



I shared Amy Gerstler's work on this blog before, mainly because she's my current favorite poet, but also because I think her work manages to be both accessable and interesting. And life-altering, but that might just be me. In this poem, a fetus talks about its current situation and the changes its experiencing, and how terrifying and disorienting those changes can be. The fourth stanza is what really set me off. I've been going through a lot of personal changes, as you know, and the thought of living your whole life with gils, then losing them and being forced to find a new way to breath really affected me. I may or may not have melodramatically sobbed at the thought. This is why I love her poetry. Not because it can sometimes cause me to melodramatically sob, but because it takes something foreign and makes it completely relatable, something I wish I could do as well as her in my own work.


Until tomorrow,
Nicole

Mixed Berry

Last night, I had a looong night at work. I generally don't add extra vowels to the words in my blog posts, and I added them now - that's how long I was at work, and by myself for the most part. I mean, it was kind of nice. I work in a really cute little cottage-like building, so it was kind of cozy, listening to music and getting a bit of work done before the open mic later on that night. Unfortunately, I'm also terribly paranoid, so I was kind of afraid of someone breaking in and sneaking up on me or something ridiculous like that. Also, there's apparently a mouse running around in the office, and at one point I heard some weird scratchy noises coming from inside the wall, which prompted me to shuffle quickly out of the office and set up the cookie table. The open mic was nice, as it always is. There was a cool little band (who named themselves 'Dave&Erick' just before performing) and some good poetry as well. I think next time I'll work up the courage to actually read some of my own!

Anyway, I was going to write about last night in order to get the point that I wanted to be a bit more dressed up because I was the only person from the Writers' Center working the event but that I still wanted to comfortable, and this dress fit the bill quite nicely. I'm not sure why, but I really wanted to pair it with these maroon tights, which ended up making me look something like a mixed berry pie, with my feet being the crust. Maybe. In other news, I'm hungry, if that wasn't apparent.

Dress: Asos, Tights: We Love Colors, Shoes: A Wild Tonic vintage, Necklace: Grandma's











Until tomorrow,
Nicole

I Like You Because You're True Blue

Some of the best outfits make you look a little bit like an elderly person dressed you when you got up that morning, I think. There's just something so cozy about short pants, thick socks, and a big ol' sweater. A whole bunch of kids on my campus walk around in ankle length pants, showing off their awesome socks, so I decided to see what all the hype was about. That hype, in my opinion, is justified. Elderly appearance or not, I kind of dig it.

On another note, you guys know by know that poetry is really important to me. Over the summer I did a few installments of a feature called Writing Weekly, where I talked about a book of poetry I had read that week and shared some poems from the collection with you guys. Then, school started. And while I've been reading (and trying hard to write) poetry every week, it's been in smaller doses. But I really want it to have a place on this blog. I'm thinking of choosing a day to maybe just share one great poem I've read that week. Kind of like Writing Weekly, but on a smaller scale. If you guys have any ideas, or anything you'd like to see, I'm all ears! (Maybe not all ears, 'cause that's kind of weird to think about, but at least mostly ears).

Cords: Espirit, Sweater: Forever 21, Socks: Target, Oxfords: Ruche, Trench: H&M, Bag: Urban Outfitters





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Until tomorrow,
Nicole

These Boots

Whenever I wear boots, these boots in particular, I notice that I feel approximately twelve times more awesome. For some reason, I walk with more sass when I wear them. Is this a common symptom of boot wearing, or is it just me? Anyway, this is my first semi-successful attempt at indoor outfit photos. I was going to trek outside with my tripod for photos, but as I was getting dressed, it began to rain and didn't stop until just a little bit ago. And let me tell you, I just got the hang of making sure I'm in focus in my tripod pictures, so as determined as I am, I only very briefly considered lugging myself, my tripod, and my expensive camera out into the pouring rain. I think the photos came out alright. The lighting is, of course, iffy, but hey - I match my sofa, and that's pretty alright by me.

PS- There is totally a pencil under my sofa in these photos. I don't even know. Also, the phrase "There's a pencil under my sofa" sounds like secret code speak, but that's not what I meant, for the record.

Blouse, Sweater: H&M, Skirt: Asos, Boots: Famous Footwear, Hat: Modcloth











Until tomorrow,
Nicole

A Lion's Heart

Last night, amidst an amalgamation of papers, Shakespeare plays, and several mugs of hot coco, I considered taking a "blog-cation." Last week, all of my less fun emotions and all of my insecurities teamed up with a massive amount of work to make me feel, well, less than wonderful. Last night was really the culmination of such things. I've been doing well and staying strong with the various personal and social things that I've been dealing with this semester, and it's been surprisingly easy, but all of a sudden I found myself feeling really weak and worried in a way I haven't been in months. And it scared the hell out of me (though I don't like the thought of there being hell in me). I've made a lot of strides in the past few months, and finding myself completely overwhelmed made me worry that all of my progress had been instantly erased. After a good day, lots of good music, and an embarrassing amount of hot coco (which reminds me, I should go make myself some coco) I'm feeling better and nagging myself about the fact that I'm going to feel weak and powerless, but that I'm strong, and the strides I've made and continue to make can't just leave me because they are me.

So, uh, I guess this is my way of saying I'm not taking a blog-cation because, frankly, I love taking photos and writing these posts. And I love hearing your thoughts, though I have been the absolute worst at commenting on your blogs. So, thanks for sticking with me folks. I'll be a better blogger, promise.

Dress: H&M, Sweater: Ann Taylor Loft, Tights: Asos, Shoes: Ruche, Headband: This DIY











(sorry the sizing of these photos is all wonky. Forgot that cropping changes the size of the photo. Whoops!)

Until tomorrow,
Nicole

Blooming Up From the Ground

Yesterday was deliciously easy-going. I usually work on Fridays but ended up not having to go in yesterday, so I decided to do some thrifting and reading. Later, I attended a documentary screening at my school, which proved to be a moving, inspiring experience. I won't go too into detail here, but the film, The Return of Navajo Boy, focusses on one Navajo family as well as the overall topic of the problem of unclosed uranium mines on Navajo ground, and how Navajo that were hired to work in uranium mines weren't told of the health risks that many are now dealing with and dying from. I may have to do a post just about this, because it's a topic that needs to be discussed, that I knew nothing about before watching the film, but I encourage you to go to the film's website and learn a bit about it.

On to less important matters, I wore a very large sweater yesterday because it was quite chilly. My lovely sister got me this sweater for my birthday, and I can see it coming quite in handy now that the temperatures seem to be consistently dropping.

Blouse: H&M, Sweater: Gift (I think Urban Outfitters), Shoes: Urban Outfitters, Jeans: Levi's









Until tomorrow,
Nicole

Got A Head Full of Lightning

I'm quite pleased that it's now officially the weekend. This week wasn't particularly more stressful than any other, but it's always nice to get a little break from the rapidly rising tide that is this semester. Can you believe Thanksgiving is three weeks away? I can't. I refuse to believe it. As much as I love eating, if it's almost Thanksgiving, then I have a WHOLE lot of work to get done. But, for now, it's the weekend! Of course, I'll be doing work for plenty of this weekend, but I'm also excited about some fun plans I've got.

As for my outfit, it actually follows the exact same formula as what I wore yesterday but didn't get a chance to photograph: button down, pullover sweater, skirt, tights. It's a combination that has become a default for me this autumn because it's easy but makes me feel kind of put together at the same time (a wonderful feeling, especially when in actuality your mind is running in eighty different directions!

Skirt: Goodwill, Blouse: Nordstrom Rack, Sweater: Forever 21, Tights: Asos, Boots: Delia's, Brooch: Grandma's

Until tomorrow,

Nicole