Tuesday, February 19, 2013

More Adventurous

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Woah, woah, woah - hold the metaphorical phone. Is this a post? I guess this is a post. From me? Yes. You might have noticed that there have been no posts up in here lately. Or maybe you haven't, no one's judging anyone here (though you may be judging me for not posting ever but whatever, no one's judging anyone here). There is a very good reason for that, too. That reason being - I don't really like blogging anymore. THERE, it's out in the open - be free, icky little thought. Well, really, I don't like blogging about my clothes, or a lot of the atmosphere of blogging about clothes anymore. Ugh, that may be an even ickier little thought.

I've thought a lot about this (SURPRISE SURPRISE) and I realized that fashion blogging has a tendency to make me feel bad about things I would never feel bad about in "real life," or whatever. I don't feel bad about not having a QT photographer boyfriend or lacking photography skills. I don't feel bad about whether or not I have new clothes. I don't feel bad about whether people think my yellow-y teeth are gross or that my calves are more like COWS (see what I did there? See it? I capitalized it). I don't feel bad that I don't go to cute cupcakeries on the daily (though I would like to, sure, because cupcakes). I don't feel bad about how the colors of my clothes look in photographs as opposed to real life. I don't feel bad! When I get caught up in blogging though, I do feel bad about these things. Now, I still enjoy reading fashion and lifestyle blogs. I love seeing what pastries people are eating and their really cool, inspiring outfits and their fun adventures. However, when I'm blogging, and participating, and putting my own content out there, I can feel like my life/clothes/melodrama are all just not good enough, not for myself, but for the blog world.

I decided a long time ago that this blog was not going to be for anyone but me, and if people wanted to follow along - great! I've met innumerable amazing people through this blog. And a good counter-argument for the previous paragraph is "DO YOUR OWN THING, GURL, DON'T CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK." And I appreciate that. But frankly, there's something about blogging that makes me care more about what other people think, rather than less, and I'm not too down with that. There's also just the fact that I don't feel inspired to carry on with posting outfits of myself. I told you guys that I'd been feeling weird about my body, and that's true. I've also been all over the place with my personal style, which is nowhere near what is was this time last year, and has toned down significantly. And by "toned down," I really mean "I wear the same striped shirt and jeans every day." I've always been "busy," but blogging was something I was passionate enough to stick to. Now though, I don't enjoy taking outfit pictures. I don't enjoy putting together interesting outfits as much as I used to. I still like writing, but I've been trying to gear that drive more towards my poetry, so the content I would put here has been steered elsewhere (sometimes).

I guess this is a very long-winded way of saying what has probably already become super apparent - that I won't be blogging as much. I'm sure there will be blog posts because I am no good at saying goodbyes or letting anything I care about or have once cared about alone (the second part of this sentence is definitely about blogs and not men). But you guys have shared your stories with me countless times, and have let me be honest with you just as many times, and I figured I should share my thoughts about blogging. I have a lot of things I want to do. I have a lot of thoughts and plans and fears and hopefully donuts. Maybe this blog will turn into something different. Maybe it will peter out. Maybe I will embarrass myself and decide tomorrow that I actually love fashion blogging and return back and better than ever. Maybe this post will self-destruct after you read this. I don't know, really. But I do know that you guys deserved to know what's been going on up in this here noggin, because you've been so supportive of the goop that it has previously dispelled. That was disgusting. Thank you for the journey so far, and for seeing where this whole thing goes next.

Dress, bag: UO, Shirt: Madewell, Tights: Hue

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