Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Repeat Offender

Hello there! What's that you ask? Am I wearing the same tights as I was in yesterday's post? And is my color scheme identical? Why yes, thank you for noticing! What can I say, when I find something I like, I stick with it. I've wanted tights this color for a long time now, so apparently now that I've got them, I'm never letting them go. And wearing them, like, all the time. Something about rich purples and chocolatey browns feels really cozy and autumnal right now. And since we're on the verge of winter, I figure I should do this while I can! (Though I'm sure I'll still wear the same colors even when it turns "officially" winter).

So, these photos are flashy indoor photos (I know realize the phrase "flashy photos" makes it sound like I'm posting slightly inappropriate, not at all modest pictures, but that's not what I mean really) because I, being a big wimp, wimped out on my opportunity to take outdoor pictures. In my poor defense, it was cold and mildly drizzly and I just wanted to get to the library to snuggle up on a semi-comfortable lounge chair. And so, since I indeed wimped out, I get grainy photos that make me look a little like Casper the ghost (thought at least I'm a ghost in cute boots?). Anyway, as my high school biology teacher would say, I have a "metric crap ton" of work to do, as this begins the final three weeks before the end of the semester, and I've got a lot to get done in less time than I would ideally like. I'm really looking forward to Christmas for obvious reasons, as well as just winter break over all because I'll get the opportunity to just do what I want for a month, which includes scoping out nice, scenic places to take outfit pictures in my neighborhood, as opposed to my front porch or the brick wall of a random apartment complex three blocks from my house.

Dress/ Skirt: Urban Outfitters
Sweater: Old Navy
Belt: Delia's
Boots: Urban Outfitters
Tights: Hue
Leaf Hair Clip: DIY

Until tomorrow,

Monday, November 29, 2010

How Far We've Come

Hello there! You've probably noticed an unfamiliar face in my post today. That would be my mom! She's included in today's post because today is the one year anniversary of when we both started Weight Watchers. I'm excited that I can recognize today as a special day. I want to dedicate this post to my weight loss, my many struggles, and my successes. So let's start from the beginning..

This is my mom and I about a year and a half ago, taking pictures for my prom. I weighed about 190 pounds, and my mom weighed around 260. We were both feeling extremely unhealthy and unhappy about it. We had both tried to lose weight, but we would both always end up quitting. Food was too tempting. Now, though, I was nearing 200 pounds, which was scary for me, but I didn't agree with the scale. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't see 190 pounds looking back at me. I was confused, but since I didn't see myself as overweight, I also didn't see the need to lose weight. My mom knew she had to lose weight though. She told me around thanksgiving that she was going on weight watchers, for real this time, and I believed her. I also joined her, saying that losing a few pounds wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Fast Forward a year and my mom has lost nearly seventy pounds. She's now around 190, which is where I started. She really has been incredible about this whole thing. She's the reason I didn't quit. She makes low calorie dinners nearly every night. She hardly ever orders dessert when we go out. She's always the one to tell me, "You don't really want to eat that food." And it shows. She's now in regular sizes instead of plus size. I'm so proud of her. She really did set her mind to her weight loss, and it worked. It 100% worked.

Top: Forever 21, Sweater: Zara, Shorts: UO, Tights: Hue, Shoes: Steve Madden

Now, I weight about 32 pounds lighter, depending on the day. The lowest I've been was last week at 158. The problem is, I don't see much of a change. I know that my old jeans and skirts and shirts are too big on me. I know that I'm currently a size ten instead of a size sixteen, a medium instead of an extra large. But I don't look different. Every know and than I'll notice that my hips look thinner, or my arms, but I don't see a dramatic difference in my weight or appearance. It's probably because I started off thinking I didn't look that big. This whole process really has been full of ups and downs. Just this morning I weighed in at 160, but I don't put much stock in it. I know I ate a lot this weekend because it was a holiday, and I can just hope that weight will be gone by next weigh in. I'm just a bit disappointed in myself. I know I could have lost more if I tried harder. I had dessert when we went out to dinner. I couldn't resist having a second piece of cake on my birthday. I go out to dinner with Zak and go off plan at least once a week. I lost most of my weight in the first six months on this diet, and lately I've just been hovering around 158.

My ultimate goal is 145. I'm going to continue with weight watchers, hopefully more diligently, for at least another year. I'm so proud of my mom and myself for sticking with this, even though it was hardly easy.

Oh yeah, and don't forget to enter my Black Friday Giveaway if you haven't yet. It ends tomorrow night!

Until tomorrow,

Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday Giveaway!

Hello! As you can very well see, I did a whole mess of shopping today. The endeavor started when I woke up at 2:30, we were in the car at 3:15, and at Target before four! Yes, I've always doubted my sanity. I actually didn't pick up very many things for myself while shopping. In the spirit of giving, I got mostly gifts for other people. People like YOU!

As a thank you to my wonderful readers, it's Black Friday Giveaway time!

What could it be?

I couldn't wait until next week to start this giveaway! I'm giving away two sets of hair bows, a harmonica necklace (both from forever 21) and a pair of grey over the knee socks from Delia's. To enter:

1. Follow my blog and let me know how you follow (blog lovin or google friend connect)
2. Let me know your favorite thing about Christmas in your comment

I'm so excited! This will be open until next Tuesday night, and I'll pick the winner Wednesday or Thursday! You have all been so great to me, and I can't wait to give back :)

Have a lovely weekend!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

So Very Thankful

Hello there everyone! I actually wrote up this little post last night, as I'll probably be off baking way too many pumpkin desserts for six people when this gets posted! There are two reasons I love Thanksgiving. One is pumpkin. Pumpkin is probably my favorite flavor everything (at least desert wise) and there is so much pumpkin to be found on Thanksgiving! The other reason would have to be the opportunity to reflect on all of the wonderful people and experiences I've had in my life during the past year. I decided that I wanted to make a list of everything and everyone I'm thankful for in this post. I like the idea of having this list of wonderful blessings that I can look back on every now and then when I'm in a sour-puss mood, so I can immediately realize that things aren't as bad as I think :)

So, here goes nothing!

What I'm Thankful For

-My mother, for a million reasons. For putting up with my cowardice and self-doubt, for taking me to the Salvation Army even though she thinks it's dirty, for picking me up from school when it's thunder storming, for making me giggle when she's acting silly, for making me dinner, for telling me that she loves me even when I'm difficult (which is often). She does everything for me, and for everyone else. She is the most self-less person I know, and I'm honored to have her as my mom.
-Zak. I don't even know where to begin. He's not only my boyfriend, but genuinely my best friend. I've felt at so many points in my life so different from everyone. Even with friends, I hardly feel like I ever truly fit with anyone. Then came Zak. He is my perfect fit. He is self-less, and kind, and so so strong. He's been sick for as long as I've known him, but he's always there to make me happy, make me laugh, make me smile. I would love to be as good of a girlfriend to him as he is a boyfriend to me. He is the most wonderful person.
-My sister, Cheryl, for being so different but so similar to me. We share a personality. Whenever I get concerned that I'm acting too much like a six year old, I look at her making silly noises and faces at her husbands and I'm immediately reassured. She is so driven, and so sweet, all at once. I'll miss her when she's in California this Thanksgiving, but I feel so spoiled to be having her home for Christmas!
-My brother, Anthony. When I found out he reads my blog, I almost cried (maybe I did, just a little). He moved to California last year, and when he left, I immediately regretted not spending more time with him. I'm so thankful to have him in my life as an example that you can really do what you want, and follow your dreams. People can tell you what they think you should do, but you don't have to do it. You can do what you, however you want to, and be one hundred percent happy. I admire his courage in picking up and moving across the country, and I hope to join him over there some day.
-Charlotte, for being my closest friend. She is one of the nicest, most self-less people I know. She tells me that she values my friendship, and every time she does I well up because I've had so much trouble with friends this year.
-Lori Ziesel, my second mother, for being a second mother. Seriously. She is supportive, and sweet, and an inspiration.
-Matt and Josh, for always being my little brothers.
-Poetry, for constantly pushing me, driving me crazy, making me feel so fulfilled, making me feel whole, and making me feel albeit rarely that I'm doing something right
-Harry Potter, for being absolutely wonderful.
-Cupcakes, for being so delicious. I hope I follow through on my literary themed bake shop some day. I really do.
-Bill Shullenberger, my literature professor, for listening to me talk about my life for half an hour when I am supposed to be talking to him about my final project, for being so nice and kind that it's hard to believe he's real, and for making me laugh and thinking I'm smart.
-My philosophy teacher, for giving me an amount of wisdom to aspire to and for making me think like I've never thought before, even though it drives me crazy quite often.
-My poetry professor, for being encouraging and telling me that I can write poetry.
-My three favorite high school teachers who STILL encourage me, though it's been a year and a half since I left, who still support me, and who still believe in me. They are so much of the reason I am what I am and where I am today.
-My weight loss, though I never would have accomplished it without my mother constantly telling me that I don't REALLY want cupcakes or fried chicken or macaroni and cheese (I always did actually want them). It's nice to be thirty two pounds lighter.
-This blog and the wonderful people I've met through it. When I started this blog, I deleted it the same night just because I thought I couldn't do it. I remade it the next day, and am still going at it. The best part, though, is you all. You are so supportive and so genuinely nice that I can't imagine not having kept my blog going.
-My career counselor for making assuring me that I'm not as behind as I thought I was.
-My bunny rabbit for being so damn adorable, weird, and hungry.
-Paulo Coelho and his novels for changing my perspective.
-My college, and that I stuck with it instead of running away.
-Dead Poet's Society and Singing In the Rain
-Cozy sweaters and blankets on cold days and nights.
-Every stranger who's smiled at me, held a door open for me, or looked out for me in any way when they didn't even know me. I hope to be like them every day.

I'm sure I'm missing one million obvious things, but this is a list of some things and people that mean the most to me, that make me happy, that keep me going. What are you all thankful for? :)

Dress: Salvation Army
Tights: Hue
Belt: Target
Boots: Urban Outfitters
Hair Clip: DIY

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving!
Until tomorrow,

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

All The Leaves Are Brown

Hello there! I am currently quite sleepy, but I am also currently one class away from Thanksgiving break! Wooh! I'm really excited for some time off from school to relax, watch movies, and eat an entire pumpkin pie [and do three papers but we won't go there right now]. I've been seeing so many friends packing and carrying their bags around today, ready to go home for the holiday. I have to say, as much as commuting is the right choice for me, I feel a bit like I'm missing an experience of coming home after months away. I'm always home, so when I get home at night, there's no grand hurrah (not that I would expect there to be). I suppose one day when I move out on my own and come back home for Christmas or Thanksgiving, that'll be different. For now, I'm content with commuting and am trying to tell myself I'm not missing much.

Anyway, today I went for a very...brown look. I'm wearing about four shades of tan, and I'm not going to apologize for it. I really like how this look came together. It's a very dreary fall day here, and I guess I just subconsciously dressed to reflect the weather. It doesn't help that an infamously brown and orange holiday is very nearby. I also wanted to look semi-professional since I'm meeting with a career counselor today to work on my resume. I have to say, I'm very nervous. I haven't done anything all that useful since high school, and trying to get an internship this summer without any college job/club/volunteer experience is freaking me out. Oh well, I guess we'll just see how it goes!

Cardigan (with elbow patches!): Zara
Top: Nordtrom Rack
Skirt: UO
Tights: Generic
Shoes: Mom's

Until tomorrow,

Monday, November 22, 2010

100th Post

Hello there! I hope you all had lovely weekends! I had a wonderful one. On Saturday I went shopping and scored some SWEET deals at Urban Outfitters. Everything I bought was on sale, and most for ten dollars. Seriously. I was so excited! Of course, I wanted to wear my new items as soon as I got them. Do you guys ever feel this way? When I buy new things it's like the other clothes in my closet just don't exist. It's really bad. I didn't do anything much today except bake cookies for my brother (Anthony, if you're reading, get excited because they are delicious and in the mail!) but I still wanted to wear one of my new skirts. I love the way this skirt fits, and I really needed a new gray skirt since my old one's gotten a bit big one me. I also have been missing my beloved plaid shirts lately, and decided to pair one with the skirt. It was unseasonably warm today (65, what?!) so I opted for no tights!

Also, this is my one hundredth post! It doesn't seem like I've been blogging for that long, but I've posted about one hundred outfits on here, and that's an exciting thing to think about! I wanted to wait until I got 100 followers to do another give-away, but I don't think I can wait any longer and 100 posts is similar, right? Right! And I really just want my giveaway to be a big thank you to all of you lovely readers, because your support is a big part of the reason I got this far! So, look out for that next week :)

Top: Delia's
Skirt: Urban Outfitter's
Belt: Goodwill
Glasses: Mom's old
Shoes: Mom's

Until tomorrow,

Friday, November 19, 2010

You're So Good To Me, How Come You Are?

Hello everyone! Tonight, Zak and I went out to a lovely little restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. Our original plan was to go out tomorrow and see Harry Potter and then get dinner, but we decided to break it up into two nights. We had such delicious food tonight though! Oh my goodness, I may or may not currently be drooling over the thought of it. The dessert was the best part though (as always!). I got this little vanilla cheesecake and it was seriously the best cheesecake I've ever had, and Zak agreed so it's not just me! And Zak got fresh made donuts covered in cinnamon and sugar, and each one was on a different yummy sauce. Oh my goodness, so good! Needless to say, this night was so nice, not just because of the yummy food, but because I was out with my best friend, celebrating our relationship :)

Since we were going out tonight, I decided to get slightly gussied up, putting on make up and curling my hair, which I don't often do. I actually ended up with a lot of photos I liked, so I apologize for the large amount of photos solely of me in very similar stances/poses. Oh well! I've actually been getting a decent amount of wear out of this dress lately, mostly as a skirt. And after a long time of not knowing what to do with it, it's become one of my favorite fall pieces!

Skirt/Dress: Urban Outfitters
Sweater, Coat: Delia's
Tights: Hue
Boots: Urban Outfitters
Hat: Macy's

Hope you all have a lovely weekend,

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Casual Thursdays

Hello there! My goodness, is the semester picking up or what? Seriously. This week has been stressful for me, but also for a lot of people close to me. One of my closest friend broke down to me today out of pure exhaustion, and Zak's workload seems never ending despite how much of a trooper he is. School has always been something I take really seriously (probably too seriously), and when I get a lot of work I put a lot of stress on myself to do the best I can, and to do everything. So, the next few weeks are going to be messy and stressful, and I'm probably going to cry at least once over my final Aristotle paper, but at least then I've got a month to rest up, right? It's all about trying to see the finish line at this point.

As for my outfit, I woke up this morning fully aware that I wanted to wear jeans and a large sweater. So, I made it happen! This sweater is oversized now, but this time last year it was clingy and I couldn't wear it with most of my jeans without feeling self conscious. So, it's cool to wear this sweater now and see how far I've come with my weight loss, because even though I know I've lost weight because of the numbers, I don't often see a change in my body. In about a week it'll actually be one year since I started dieting, so I'll probably do a post about that! Anyway, I know I wanted to be comfy, but I wanted to be at least moderately cute. So, I cuffed my jeans and attached a little flower to my hat, and I think it may have done the trick.

Top: Delia's
Jeans: Levi's
Shoes: Toms
Hat: H&M, i think
Trench: H&M

Until tomorrow,

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Romantic Ruffles

So, today I ended up in a very ruffled ensemble that felt quite romantic, and for good reason. Today is my three year anniversary with Zak! I can't believe that it's been three whole years since we met and started dating. It's amazing how time flies by so quickly. I am really so blessed to have him in my life. He accepts that I'm weird, and likes it. He listens to everything I have to say, and I'm very whiney so that's impressive. He always tells me that I'm cute even when I try out the strangest trends and look like a sad clown. And that's just the beginning. These three years have been the best of my life so far, and I'm looking forward to all the new adventures we have together this year!

A brief comment about this outfit. There is a whole lot of pink and a whole lot of ruffle, but I think it worked. When I put the two pieces together, it just felt right. And this hat is actually a cloche, but I turned the brim up to make it look like a cute little bowler hat. As much as I liked my outfit, the weather was NOT cooperating when I tried to take pictures. It is SO WINDY today. Really. Every time I tried to take pictures, the wind would pick up, blow my hair everywhere, whisk my hat away, and make my shirt billow in an incredibly unflattering way. Oh, wind! Remind me to do an embarrassing out takes post soon, because there are some real gems in here. Well, I'm off to spend the remainder of my anniversary with my sweetie bear...doing homework together because it's the middle of the week and we're both swamped! We're probably going to for real celebrate on Saturday, going out to dinner and seeing harry potter (yes!).

Top: Vintage
Skirt: Target
Tights: Hue
Belt: Target
Hat: Macy's
Shoes: Mom's

Until tomorrow,

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Point Me Towards The Morning

So, I decided to be lazy this morning and not take outfit photos. AND my photographer did not come to school today because he was sick :( Hence, I have no outfit post for you. In one sense, it's a shame since I did like my outfit, but I suppose it's also nice to just get dressed up entirely for me and not for pictures, though I did have the intention to take pictures so that isn't really valid... But ANYWAY, I wanted to put up a quick post today and say the obvious, that you are all the best. Seriously. Your supportive comments make me so happy, and they mean the world to me. I'm thinking of doing a giveaway soon as a thank you :)

Since I do want this post to have a point, I figured I would post a poem I wrote earlier today. It's short, and didn't take me where I wanted to go. But, I'm hoping maybe some of you will be able to get something out of it and I can give back to you guys in at least a teensy way.


I found myself wrapped up in your honey glow,

Like a star you pulled my in by the tips of my lashes,

Bristling with curiosity and the ephemeral warmth of your lips.

The dew of every line I lifted from your open mouth melted down my

Chest, bright red with a blush, a rage, a wonder of how I let myself stray so far.

Until tomorrow,

Monday, November 15, 2010

I can almost see that bobber dancing

Today's been one of those Mondays because last night was one of those Sunday nights. I got up late with a paper to begin, but I've done very little since I'm just upset at the universe, and in turn upset at myself for being upset with the universe. I'm in one of those moods where I question being a good person because it doesn't seem to get me very far, while selfish people seem to get much further. My ex-boyfriend, from before I was with Zak, was the only relationship I'd had before finding Zak. And it was a bad one. He was selfish and mistreated me and I was weak. That was a long time ago. When I found Zak, I thought, well this makes sense. I found something wonderful and beautiful, while he had dated innumerable girls since we parted. Four years later, we're acquaintances and have discussed the past in apologies and I'm not bitter anymore about what happened. I am still bitter though. He's been rapidly gaining success in what he's always wanted to do, he has a steady group of friends, he's still got girls all over him. While I don't want guys all over me, and I know it's much more valuable to have a meaningful relationship, I envy his success. I envy that he's getting to do what he wants to do, that he made those dreams reality. I haven't published poetry, but he gets to tour the east coast. I feel constantly disposable in every friend group I settle into, and he seems to have it made. But he's still a self-centered jerk. I'm still trying to be caring and do the best I can for the people I care about. I'm just frustrated about how things have turned out. I know it's more important to be a good person, and that there shouldn't be a reward for it, but it's hard to see someone like him with things I don't.

Then there are the questions that keep plaguing me. I get very attached to people and put a lot of stock in to my relationships with people I care about, usually more than they do in return. I keep wondering how my life would be different if I was born ten years earlier, or others ten years later. Would our relationship be different? How? Would we even know each other? That one always gets me. If anything were different, I wouldn't even know them. But in the mean time, I keep wondering about these things. And it's keeping me from concentrating and doing what I should. It's hard to write about Shakespeare and Lady Mary Wroth with a heavy mind.

Anyway, I suppose I should describe my outfit now (thanks for bearing with me to this point). I always find that my Friday and Monday outfits are a bit more adventurous than my week day outfits, since I take less risks when I get dressed for a full day of school. Today, I knew I wanted to wear this skirt that I don't often wear (it wrinkles instantly). Then I remembered my favorite cozy sweater from last winter, and since I could use some cozy today, pulled it on. I like the color pallet, and I think it turned out well

Skirt, hat: H&M
Sweater: Forever 21
Top: Delia's
Socks: DIY
Shoes: Steve Madden

Until tomorrow,